Yup. I have them. Everyone has them. (At least, I think they do. If they don’t, I’m odder than I thought.) Sometimes, it’s character voices. Sometimes, it’s the inner voice that’s protecting you. Both are important, but one can save your life and/or save you from injury. Some might call it their gut instinct.
Whenever I don’t listen to that second voice, trouble ensues. (If I ignore the character voices, they just cuss at me. I can handle cussing. Grin) The most recent incident resulted in a knee injury. Granted, the voice said, “This is a good way to blow your knee out” while I was in the midst of wrestling with someone. I was having fun, acting 12, and had that hose turned on my neighbor. It was the heat of the moment. I heard it, but chose to ignore it… to my detriment. That was… stupid. I know better and castigated myself for several hours after the event. (sigh)
Now, here I am on crutches, hobbling around, and having to rely on others. For someone as independent as I am, that’s torture. It serves me right, though. I have learned my lesson. Listen to that second voice.
This was my view last Saturday after going to the ER.
Fortunately, I am healing well. At least, I think I am. The knee has more flexibility and stability. There is still a bit of pain if it’s bumped or I try to bend it too far. I am no longer in a brace, but wrapped instead. Compared to Friday when it happened (I couldn’t support my body weight at all. It collapsed to the right. It’s not supposed to do that.), I can stand on it for short periods. This is thanks to chiropractic, supplemental support, and visualization, that is.
None of this is thanks to my insurance. (My insurance does not cover chiropractic or my supplements. Of course, visualization is free.) Well, that’s not true. At least my ER visit was paid for, minus co-pay. The doctors were very nice and knowledgeable. They took X-rays to ensure no broken bones (thank goodness or I’d’ve had emergency surgery right then) and referred me to an orthopedic surgeon. And I got a “free” brace. They would’ve given me drugs, but I didn’t have any pain unless my knee was bumped. In my mind, there wasn’t any need for pain medication.
But here’s where the insurance failed: when I called the orthopedic surgeon’s office, I needed a referral from my PCP (primary care physician). I called my PCP, went in the next day, and had to wait another day for the referral to be okayed by the insurance. (Typical.) The visit was a waste of time, gas, and money. The doctor didn’t even look at my knee. She felt I really just needed to see the sports injury specialist/orthopedic doctor and wanted me in to see them by Thursday.
Yeah, that was going to happen. o.O
Nope. I don’t see them for another two weeks or so. Um… okay. My understanding about this type of injury is that the longer you wait, if it’s really bad, the more scar tissue you can have, the harder it is going to be “fix.” I’m not a fan of surgery. I’d rather go the physical rehab route, so I see this as an opportunity to heal myself.
The upside to all of this, if there is one, is that I am learning to ask for help. I hate asking for help. I’d just as soon as do everything myself. As I haven’t mastered the art of carrying a full water glass while hobbling along on crutches (or a loaded bowl or plate for that matter) and I don’t have four arms, I have to ask someone else to help me. The crutches also wear me out, and my body is trying to heal, which means energy is being syphoned off. Instead, Charlie and Lily have become my gophers. If only I could convince Charlie to wear a toga, carry a fan, and feed me grapes, I’d be all set. (grin)
But even more, I wish I had listened to that voice in my head. (And no it’s never told me to kill anyone… yet. 😉 )
Someone please tell me I’m not alone. That you have a voice, too. Not a serial killer voice, but one that protects you. Now, if it would only tell me the winning lottery numbers… (grin)
I’ve defied the voices, I have also heeded them. Regrets and scores on both sides, but yes I know the voices of which you speak.
Like you, I pride myself on my self-sufficiency. My mom instilled that to my brain when I was young and it stuck. I know your pain.
But as for the knee, no I don’t know your pain. Haven’t had that happen to me. I wish you a speedy healing and lots of those ‘free’ visualizations. And I wish you a Charlie in a toga.
Hahaha, Stephen. I’ll tell Charlie you think he should wear a toga. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. 😀
And thank you for the well wishes for speedy recovery.
Loved your story …sorry about your knee,and of course you are not the only one with that inner voice… lol.
Well, some people won’t admit to them. Others do, but some are psychos. LOL
All authors have those “voices” in our heads…the ones that have nothing to do with real life. That’s how we write stories! As a kid I thought everyone had scenes playing out in their heads. But then I read a lot and spent hours by myself.
The other voice, the protective one, is a product of our bicameral minds. Ancient people used to think that was the gods “talking in their minds”, but now we know that it’s a part of consciousness. Unfortunately we don’t always listen to the self-protective voices. Instinct only works if you pay attention to it. And as we age, we have less ability to do the things we used to do, plus it takes much longer to heal. Sigh…
Good luck in getting use of your knee back. And yes, I definitely think your husband in a toga, waiting on you, would go a long way in helping you bounce back! Grin!
HAHAHA, Fiona. Charlie in a toga would really go a long way. Alas, I don’t see it happening. LOL
As for the bicameral mind, that is a hypothesis. 😀 I prefer to think it’s a super-consciousness. I have heard the voice as I was about to step off a curb and stopped only to have a car speed out of nowhere that would’ve run me over, not something my regular consciousness would’ve known. This same voice has told me when there are cops around or up ahead. I slow down, and I’ll pass someone else stopped by a cop who’s just getting out of his car. The last time we went to visit my mother this happened. I usually drive 75 over the Grapevine. I slowed to 70 this past time. Three CHPs were patrolling that day. Three people going south were pulled over, but not me. The second we started going up the hill, I slowed down because of that voice. 😀
Inner voices? It must be just you. Actually I have audible conversations with them.
Sorry about the knee. Ouch! Heal quick!
LOL, Robin. At least you know you are never alone. 😀
I’m doing my best to heal quickly. Better and better every day. 🙂