Yup. I have them. Everyone has them. (At least, I think they do. If they don’t, I’m odder than I thought.) Sometimes, it’s character voices. Sometimes, it’s the inner voice that’s protecting you. Both are important, but one can save your life and/or save you from injury. Some might call it their gut instinct.
Whenever I don’t listen to that second voice, trouble ensues. (If I ignore the character voices, they just cuss at me. I can handle cussing. Grin) The most recent incident resulted in a knee injury. Granted, the voice said, “This is a good way to blow your knee out” while I was in the midst of wrestling with someone. I was having fun, acting 12, and had that hose turned on my neighbor. It was the heat of the moment. I heard it, but chose to ignore it… to my detriment. That was… stupid. I know better and castigated myself for several hours after the event. (sigh)
Now, here I am on crutches, hobbling around, and having to rely on others. For someone as independent as I am, that’s torture. It serves me right, though. I have learned my lesson. Listen to that second voice.
This was my view last Saturday after going to the ER.
Fortunately, I am healing well. At least, I think I am. The knee has more flexibility and stability. There is still a bit of pain if it’s bumped or I try to bend it too far. I am no longer in a brace, but wrapped instead. Compared to Friday when it happened (I couldn’t support my body weight at all. It collapsed to the right. It’s not supposed to do that.), I can stand on it for short periods. This is thanks to chiropractic, supplemental support, and visualization, that is.
None of this is thanks to my insurance. (My insurance does not cover chiropractic or my supplements. Of course, visualization is free.) Well, that’s not true. At least my ER visit was paid for, minus co-pay. The doctors were very nice and knowledgeable. They took X-rays to ensure no broken bones (thank goodness or I’d’ve had emergency surgery right then) and referred me to an orthopedic surgeon. And I got a “free” brace. They would’ve given me drugs, but I didn’t have any pain unless my knee was bumped. In my mind, there wasn’t any need for pain medication.
But here’s where the insurance failed: when I called the orthopedic surgeon’s office, I needed a referral from my PCP (primary care physician). I called my PCP, went in the next day, and had to wait another day for the referral to be okayed by the insurance. (Typical.) The visit was a waste of time, gas, and money. The doctor didn’t even look at my knee. She felt I really just needed to see the sports injury specialist/orthopedic doctor and wanted me in to see them by Thursday.
Yeah, that was going to happen. o.O
Nope. I don’t see them for another two weeks or so. Um… okay. My understanding about this type of injury is that the longer you wait, if it’s really bad, the more scar tissue you can have, the harder it is going to be “fix.” I’m not a fan of surgery. I’d rather go the physical rehab route, so I see this as an opportunity to heal myself.
The upside to all of this, if there is one, is that I am learning to ask for help. I hate asking for help. I’d just as soon as do everything myself. As I haven’t mastered the art of carrying a full water glass while hobbling along on crutches (or a loaded bowl or plate for that matter) and I don’t have four arms, I have to ask someone else to help me. The crutches also wear me out, and my body is trying to heal, which means energy is being syphoned off. Instead, Charlie and Lily have become my gophers. If only I could convince Charlie to wear a toga, carry a fan, and feed me grapes, I’d be all set. (grin)
But even more, I wish I had listened to that voice in my head. (And no it’s never told me to kill anyone… yet. 😉 )
Someone please tell me I’m not alone. That you have a voice, too. Not a serial killer voice, but one that protects you. Now, if it would only tell me the winning lottery numbers… (grin)