When I was young, I had a completely different idea of what a sexy man was. It involved a killer body, a chiseled face, intelligence, and a sense of humor. Not that I know if any of these are intelligent (well, Phelps is supposed to be) or have a good sense of humor, but I would’ve been okay with them. 😀
Now is a completely different story. Not that these men aren’t fine specimens of manhood–there is no question they are–but more that I have a wider range of what constitutes sexy. For instance, I came home to discover Charlie changing the faucet in our kitchen sink. He struggled with it because the nut and screw were corroded. The air turned blue for several minutes, but he persevered. Even as I chuckled at his language (under my breath, mind you), I found his determination to fix it very sexy. Matter of fact, this whole handy around the house is rather sexy. Yes, he’s sweaty and swearing, but, I don’t know, something about it turns me on. LOL I like it when he’s sweet, too. For instance, when he’ll spoon me because I’m having a hard time sleeping, or when he’s so patient with Lily. Oh, and I’m still into intelligence and humor. When his eyes twinkle with laughter… Hubba! Hubba! LOL
A handsome face is just that, but a beautiful person is completely different.
Yeah, I’ve changed some. LOL What about you?
When all I was interested in was hooking up, back when I was young, sexy just meant a cute face, long legs, sexy tight ass, or broad shoulders. Men were interchangeable. Yes, I was that shallow.
When I met my husband I had been in a dry spell, shocking to me after the banquet of available men that had been around in a college town. All of a sudden I had to think of what it might mean if I bonked someone I worked with, or called on as a client, etc. Suddenly things were so much more complicated that my sex life all but died. Fortunately he combined all of the things I used to seek out, along with a sense of humor, a sense of humility, and he was kind to his mom. All of those things made sure that for the first time in my life, I understood what it meant to fall head-over-heels in love, because I was already in free-fall. And he’s been “wearing well” for over 30 years. I tell our kids a successful marriage is partly choosing wisely. The other part is being committed yourself.
And it doesn’t hurt that he’s still tall, with long legs and a tight ass, broad shoulders, a cute face, and a will to please me! How can you not find a man like that sexy? ;-D
I wasn’t far off from your behavior, Fiona. Once I had a guy break up with me because he said I was the kind he’d take home to Mom. HAHAHA Although I didn’t say it, I thought, “Who said I wanted to meet Mom?” 😀 At that age, I couldn’t even say “marriage.” LOL For a while, I went through a flavor of the week period. I was picky, and as soon as a man started showing signs of being serious, I was the one with cold feet and did the disappearing act. I didn’t mean to be that way, I just wasn’t ready, and I hadn’t met Charlie.
You definitely have to be committed. Not every day will be all rosy. Matter of fact, some days will be a combination of rosy and wanting to smack the other person sometimes. LOL Ultimately, though, there needs to be respect, love, and communication. (Oh, and good sex. :D)
It helps if they stay sexy, too. 😀
It’s not easy to determine what’s sexy to me. I have no spouse to point to and say “that one.” If I compare the best relationships of my life, the women I’ve run with have been rather diverse. However, those whose company I’ve enjoyed the most all have one trait in common: they’re the ones who’ve exuded confidence. Do opposites attract? I’m a very quiet person until someone else initiates a conversation. At which point, conversation comes easy. In the interest of cutting a potentially long-winded reply here, suffice it to say I have found the women to be sexy who took a step out of their shell and said or done something to start a friendship.
Confidence is very attractive as long as it’s not arrogance, Stephen. 🙂 I find confidence attractive, too.
I’ve told our kids that there are 3 things necessary for a good, long-term commitment:
1-Passion
2-Friendship
3-Respect
And in that order,. Passion binds you together initially.
Desmond Morris, the cultural anthropologist calls that the “pair-bonding phase”. Friendship means even when you can’t have sex, you still enjoy spending time together, which gets you through the long days at the end of your pregnancy! ;-D
And respect means you would rather hurt yourself, than the person you love.
I think you go through phases, Fiona. Sometimes, you have all of those. Sometimes, you are missing one for a short time. I think you also need to spend time alone with your significant other to remind yourself whey you fell for them in the first place, even if it’s only an hour a week.