This year, it doesn’t feel like Christmas. With everything that’s been going on, it’s been really hard to get into the Christmas spirit. Charlie and I are trying for Lily’s sake, but when you are visiting the hospital every other day, and possibly every day now, it’s just hard.
This is the first time I’ve ever really felt like this. Well, no, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt like this. The last was my dad’s last Christmas. That was a hard Christmas, too. I am hoping that this Christmas does not portend what that Christmas did. 🙁
The Christmas tree is up and decorated. Most of the presents are wrapped. Our yard is decorated. It’s just the Christmas cheer that’s missing.
Maybe next year.
Our Christmas Tree
It is most difficult to be in the Christmas spirit when worldly things impinge on what should be a joyous occasion (whether you celebrate it as a Christian or not). Praying that you get a definitive diagnosis on your MIL and proper treatment. Perhaps then it can be a more joy filled time?!!
So sorry that you lost your dad around Christmas time. It’s hard enough any time, but, it seems this time makes it worse. {HUG}
Christi, we were lucky that Dad didn’t pass at Christmas, but we thought he was going to. He left in April the following year. Christmas was still tough. They had him on Methadone and he was higher than a kite and so frail. It’s that look of impending death. 🙁 Mom took him to a clinic in Tijuana where the doctors got him up and walking again. We had some hope, but Dad had struggled a long time. He was ready, even if we weren’t.
He’s still with me, if not physically. His spirit still watches over us.
And thank you for the prayers. They are much appreciated.
I love your beautiful tree!!
I lost my Mom 3 years ago in early December. This year I published an essay on my personal Facebook page about how I’ve always loved December, but now there’s a pall on my pleasure. I can’t even listen to my favorite Christmas CD in my car because it’s too hard to drive while crying–Mariah Carey always gets me to sing along with “All I want for Christmas is you”, but one of the later songs is “I Miss you most at Christmas”, and I think of my mom from the first words and I’m a mess!
But as I’ve said for years, if you don’t experience the lows, how can you know what it is to be deliriously happy with the highest high-points in life? Nothing will replace Mom, or Dad who died in January 6 years ago. But Mom especially, loved too make Christmas a huge big deal. I feel like I honor her by trying to enjoy myself, even while there’s an empty place in my arms, where I want to be hugging her!
I am sorry to hear about your loss, Fiona. I lost my dad 9 years ago and my sister 20. It’s hard to believe so much time has passed. While there was pain at the loss, I’d never give up having known them and loved them. My life has been richer for having had them in my life.
You are right, Fiona, without lows, there are no highs. We’d have nothing to compare it to.
Didn’t get through because I must have used the wrong punctuation. I wanted to add, HUGS to you! You are showing your daughter how an adult handles pain, by carrying on with life. Someday she’ll need to be the strong one. Cry with her, when you need to, so she’ll see that’s a part of it also.
There’s a quote someone sent me that ends with “Grief (of losing a loved one) is the price we pay for love.” I think it’s worth it, don’t you?
I do and thank you. You are a strong, beautiful woman, Fiona. (Hugs)